“Pole bro” Lulu Hassan calms Antony Ng’ang’a as he shares how he got HIV, his abusive wife.
Antony Ng’ang’a’s life took a heartbreaking turn when he opened up about his painful journey through an abusive marriage on Citizen TV’s “Shajara with Lulu” show. As a single father of two, he recounted the terrible experiences that led to the end of his marriage, leaving him to fend for his children, struggle with his health, and come to terms with his HIV-positive status.
Antony’s story began in 2016 when he met his now ex-wife, and they rushed into marriage. Little did he know that their union would be marred by many challenges from the very start. His daily routine involved leaving for work at 5 am and returning home around midnight, which left little room for him to monitor his home life closely.
It was a shocking call from a concerned neighbor that first alerted Antony to the cracks in his marriage. The neighbor informed him that there was a man in his house who quickly left as Antony arrived. This incident followed multiple reports from neighbors who had spotted Antony’s wife with other men.
Antony painfully recalled meeting his wife holding hands with other men on the street, leading to confrontations that often turned violent.
To escape the torment, Antony decided to stop sharing his bed with his wife and moved into their children’s bedroom. The breaking point came when his wife abruptly announced her intention to end the marriage and left, taking their children with her. She returned the children the next morning, including their three-month-old baby, but refused Antony’s pleas to stay for the sake of their youngest child.
Juggling the responsibilities of work and raising his two children became an uphill battle for Antony. The constant struggle caused him to lose numerous job opportunities, worsening their financial woes. There were times when they couldn’t afford food or rent, leading to periods of homelessness.
Antony’s heart-wrenching decision to leave his children unattended while searching for work weighed heavily on him. On occasions, he had to offer them water because there was no food to give them.
As the stress mounted, Antony’s health began to deteriorate rapidly. He experienced severe weight loss, dropping to a frightening 28 kilograms, and his hair started falling out. The turning point came on a Sunday morning when he noticed his hair falling into the basin as he bathed. Alarmed, he discovered wounds on his lower stomach and decided to seek medical attention.
The diagnosis was a shocker. Antony was HIV positive. He initially believed that his wife’s infidelity had led to his infection. However, tests revealed that his wife and their two children were HIV negative. This revelation left him in a state of disbelief.
Doctors suspected that he had stopped taking his antiviral medications, but Antony had not been aware of his HIV status.
Confronting his wife with the news, Antony accused her of infecting him, but the evidence pointed elsewhere. He recalled a past incident when he had come to the aid of people involved in a road accident, sustaining wounds in the process.
It was from this accident, he now suspected, that he had contracted the virus.
Today, Antony has come to terms with his HIV-positive status and is living a healthy life. He bears no grudge against his former wife and has no intention of infecting any future partners. His sole focus is on raising his daughters and providing them with a better future. However, their reliance on well-wishers remains a challenge, and finding stable employment is an ongoing struggle.